Quite a lot happened during my last several weeks away, since I last wrote… So here are some thoughts I’m sharing from the past two months.
On one of my last nights in White Rock, Earl let me know that the two of us were heading to the beach. While he went down the pier to start conversations with people, I decided to split from him and walk along the shore. The beauty of my surroundings overwhelmed me, not for the first time… but I decided to listen, to solely focus on hearing His voice.
With each step I took, “Pray to Me.” “Be patient with Me.” “Trust Me.”
He spoke words to me that I’ve wanted to obey but have been halted time and time again by my failures; by my broken, restless, stubborn heart. I started to pray, something I’ve never been consistent with. I asked Him to awaken my heart with desire for His voice, patience to glorify Him as His will unfolds, and trust that He will always embrace my wandering heart and fulfill His promises.
My mind turned to the people around me. Families and couples enjoyed the sunset and the tide, but a conversation I could clearly hear struck me… “It may be depression.” I turned around to see three girls around my age. “I’ve learned a lot about it and witnessed how it affects people, but I’ve just been ‘meh.’ I don’t know.” My heart broke.
To sum things up, since I arrived in White Rock, the beauty of all I’ve experienced has pushed me. They’ve forced me to seriously reflect on my life and the lives around me, deeper than ever before.
I’m learning to follow in the Lord’s steps. To trust Him as my Father. To give thanks to Him. To be patient with Him, His timing, and the people He’s created. To glorify Him in everything.
To fully break so He can fully heal me. To be vulnerable, in whatever ways I need to. To love the best and worst things about people. To share His name, Love, with everyone I meet.
Most importantly, I’m learning to never take His name, or the undeserved opportunity to follow Him, lightly.
“I come with my broken song to You, the perfect One, to worship You in spirit and truth, only You. Give me a childlike heart; lead me to where You are. I’m coming back to my first love, only You.” — Rend Collective, ‘Simplicity’